Blue Blooded, Felicia Olin
El Silencio de Sangre Azul
(Blue-Blooded Silence)

The thought of breathing in this life
without you, makes me sigh so deeply
I swallow the morning sky.

Blue seeps into my veins, my heart explodes
toward my head, and all that’s left is naught
y mi sangre azul, this blue blood and trails of sadness.

Your disease poisoned my mind enough that I grieve
all stages of you: driving your car, limping across the floor
the wall, the walker, the wheelchair…

…now as you snore beside me, back from the hospital.
With one eye in heaven, cielo
and the other in a book, su libro

my feet rest between purgatory and
where you once tried to stand and write out your pain.
Without you, I am constantly within me, the wound

coated with pages of poems y mi amor.
Words– my only crown, lasting amigos
they surround me like dust in sunlight

or I honor them on paper
though I’m a blind man painting rain.
I remain a laconic muchacha, a bird out of formation

suffocating with the ink before it fully dries.
Sigo invicto pero en silencio.
I remain unconquered but silent. Silent in the hum of poetry.

I am not afraid of silence, only of not feeling.
Te amo como una pluma ama del viento.
I love you like a feather loves the wind. 

Anita Stienstra